How to Seduce your Guy in 31 Days [Day 29]

I know I've jumped around  a lot. I had big dreams - but then I lost my notebook. Maybe the dog ate it?

I am shooting for a recap, with a list of things that can be done to seduce your guy. Or, for me to seduce mine. I do have to say, though, that in a very short amount of time and number of posts, I've learned something about all of this. And that was kind of the point.

My guy is happiest when the house is kept, there is dinner on the table (regardless of if he makes it or I do), when there are clean work clothes in the closet (regardless of if he washes them or I do), and when the chaos is controlled. He wants to come home on Wednesday nights (his Friday) to a picked-up and happy home. It doesn't have to be perfect. Just not apocalyptic.

After being married for almost 18 years, I realize that we BOTH do better when things have a place and are in order. I wasn't so surprised to learn that about myself. It surprised me more about him. I think he's been quiet all these years. Probably realizing all of the work I put into my education, my career, and the kids. He put his feelings aside and dealt.

I remember his sister once hollered at me for not taking better care of her brother. This was about seven years in. Maybe less. I was so mad at her. How DARE she. While she is five years older, she didn't have a husband (at the time). She didn't have kids (still doesn't, but she's the best aunt!). She didn't got to school full time and work full time.

I was steaming mad for a long period. But even then I knew; she was right. My husband was just too nice to say anything. However, that didn't mean he didn't express his mind in other ways. Like coming home on Wednesday nights, walking straight into the kitchen and tossing stuff into the trash. Or moving piles of clean, but not yet put away clothes from one couch to another so he could sit down. Those were glaring signs that I was missing ignoring. My bad.

I didn't want to do my 31 days series on organizing and cleaning, etc... because everyone was doing that. But now I see why. It's the reality of it all. We all need to figure out a system that works. Sooner, rather than later.

When I am in the middle of a mundane task like making a cake or washing the dishes, my husband sometimes gets that look in his eyes. Ladies, you know that look. He LIKES it when I am doing chores. When I am baking. When I am being a domestic diva.

So, in the (almost) end, I've decided to kill two birds with one stone. Except there will be no actual killing taking place. I will get my domestication on to seduce my guy AND to keep the castle clutter free.

How to Seduce you Guy in 31 Days [Day 22]

This week, I am going to focus on our castle. Since I am a queen, and all.
Not really.

=)

One of the things I know my husband adores (as probably all husbands do) - is a clean, functioning house. With five people and two dogs, sometimes it's hard to control the chaos and clutter. To go along with some other changes around here (hint: I am now reading How to have a new teenager by Friday by Dr. Kevin Leman), I've created some responsibility and chore charts. 

The difference between the two? The items listed on responsibility chart are a MUST. No questions asked, they better be done. I swear, if I get yelled at one more time by Dr. Ortho because on of my kids isn't wearing their orthodontic bands, I am going to wrap one of those bands around my neck and see what happens.

Then we have the Chore chart. These are things that we really need their help on around the house... that can earn them some dough. We've never had a good track record with paying out allowance... mostly because the kids never had a good track record with completing their chores. Crazy how that works, huh?  But... we are going to try it again.

I want my husband to be able to come home from work and not worry about anything other than dinner and quiet time with the family. I don't want his boots sticking to the floor, his dinner served on a paper plate (unless it's super casual night), or a dust companion sitting next to him on the couch.

Of course, I have my jobs around the house; I will share with you MY chore chart later in the week.

When the kids follow their charts and the house is a picked-up, comfy place to be, I know that makes my husband happier and less stressful. We aim to please.

*And yes, I mistyped "vacuum" in Alex's chart above. I am sure he won't notice. He will be too busy vacuuming, after all. ;)

How to Seduce your Guy in 31 Days [Day 17, 18 &19]

It's not every day you come across a blog post by a GUY that makes total sense. Not to discredit GUYS...
I just don't read a lot of blogs written by men. But this one I am sharing today is GOOD!! And I think it really relates to this entire series I am working on.

Meet Dan:

He writes a blog called Single Dad Laughing. He writes a few others, too. He has no idea who I am. But that's okay! ;)

This post that he wrote yesterday is perfect... and I will be sharing it with my man. Hopefully, giving him something to think about.

via

Click here to read all 16 ways he feel that he blew his marriage. It's honest, open and relateable.

Enjoy!

How to Seduce your Guy in 31 Days [Day 16]

Go back for a moment... regardless of how many years you've been together... press 'Play' and let your mind remember the jams that brought you and your man just a little closer.

Perhaps it was a song that was playing during your first kiss. Maybe it was the song you danced to at your wedding.

For Day 16, I want to focus on the music that shaped our lives together. Marcos and I have a plethora of songs that make us stop, close our eyes, and remember - the good times or the sad. Music has a way of doing that; agree?

Putting together a playlist is a quick and easy way to show your man you are thinking about him. You can create a new playlist for his iPod, or add songs into his existing playlists - to surprise him a little.

Here are a few of the songs that mean something to us [please don't judge on the corniness]:

Zapp & Roger - I want to be your man
Zapp & Roger - Computer love

The reason why these two are on the list is because Zapp & Roger came out with their greatest hits CD in 1993, which is when Marcos and I met. He played them all of the time and now, when the songs come on the radio, we steal a sideways glance at each other.

SWV - Weak
Aerosmith - Cryin'

Cryin' was our first ever pre-make-out (uhem!) song. Which is hysterical if you actually listen to the words; nothing romantic about it. A great song, none-the-less. Too bad Don't want to miss a thing didn't come out until years later.

Alan Jackson - Remember when

This song came out 10 years into our relationship. He found it and played it quite often... and when I heard it and saw the video, it simply and solidly solidified the fact that I wanted nothing more than to grow old with the man (Marcos, not Alan).

I think the reason why music provides such great memories is because in the early years, we used to go to the record store and buy singles on tape. I remember the day we went to Tower Records and they told us that they no longer sold tapes... we had to buy CDs. I looked that clerk in the eye, pissed as all get out, and told him that CDs would NEVER last.

Well, I was kinda right... we've all moved on to MP3 and iTunes, right? Well, some of us. Marcos still has a box full of old school tapes. I think we will keep those forever. As a reminder.

Just a little curious... what was your first make-out song?

How to Seduce your Guy in 31 Days [Days 7-15]

I promise, from the bottom of my heart, I had GREAT intentions to keep posting while I was on vacation... but the iPad was not allowing me to upload pictures. So I decided to take a real holiday and come back, beg for your forgiveness and post a 'Days 7-15' post.

Forgive me?

If so, read on! ;)

Marcos and I have a bucket list. And perhaps, since we got married so young and didn't have a chance to LIVE before we had to LIVE our life, that bucket list is even more important to us. On our list are things and places and stuff we want to inhale before we take our last breaths. [No, I am not talking about The Mary Jane]

I will tell you, during our trip to San Francisco, the ball to my chain and I were almost GIDDY at times. The five days were jam-packed and we didn't even get to see/do everything on our preplanned itinerary; however, we left feeling extremely satisfied. After all, we got to check several things off of our bucket list.

We toured Alcatraz.

We drove down Lombard Street.

We sat in awe of the Golden Gate Bridge at sunset.

And we visited the infamous Winchester House in San Jose.

There is NOTHING sweeter than standing with your beloved, sporting matching child-like grins, taking everything in. The experience of sharing San Francisco with Marcos was lovely. And romantic. And thrilling. And tiring. And new. It was one big ball of emotions. It was exactly what we needed.

How to Seduce your Guy in 31 Days [Day 6]

There are times where I simply cannot control the situation here in Casa de Ayala. As much as I want this to be about ME showing the ball to my chain mucho love, HE shows me me little ways that he LOVES me. And from our lesson yesterday, maybe that means he's feeling loved?


For day six, we should listen to the great & talented, and ever-so-wise Mario.


Not the Mario you expected?  Just so yo know... I was mostly referring to the chorus. ;)

My husband, Marcos (not to be confused with Mario), has been doing the sweetest things lately... and that reminds me that he actually does SMALL sweet things quite often. Who needs the BIG stuff, when it's the everyday little stuff that melts my heart?

Take yesterday for example. Crazy day.... better after these:

These are from my favorite shop, Bosa Donuts. It's about a 15 minute drive, but he made that drive for me. Without my knowledge, when I was on a crazy Thursday morning meeting.

Then there was the Chicken Teriyaki bowl from my favorite place, Yogi's. Then the trip to San Fran that he planned. And hanging up curtains for me. And massaging my bum foot. Buying us a treadmill. I couldn't go on....

There are so many little, everyday things he does that make me smile and and make me feel like I am loved. And I am now realizing that when I feel loved, he feels loved.

Novel, eh?

Lessons Learned:
1) This post is 75% about food? Not good.
2) The treadmill does not house clothes... nor does it house me - not even once a day for 30 minutes.
3) I love Mario Marcos to bits. I hit the jack-pot.

How to Seduce your Guy in 31 Days [Day 5]

Sometimes the experts know what they are talking about. Would you agree?

From self-help books to online articles, you can find a wealth of information related to loving your spouse.
Of course, depending on your mindset, you can keep this particular completely on the G rating or you can go as far as Triple X. Wait... is that a movie? With Vin Diesel? Hmmm. Just checked, it is... but, it doesn't have Paul Walker, so I am not wasting time on it. I meant the other XXX...

Since I am trying to keep most of this series out of the bedroom (notice I said "most") - let's talk about general research on how to make your guy feel like your main squeeze.

There were some lists/sites that suggested that you (or me) as a wife may not be equal to her man. As if the wife isn't contributing just as much or more than the husband. For example... one list was 101 entries long that stated you should "keep the kids away from your husband during the first few minutes after he gets home from work." And "you should not bother your husband with anything for the first hour after he gets home from work." I could go on... obviously the author of that particular list did. But I won't. Instead, I am going to change it up a little.

In doing my research, I found a great online article that CLICKED for me.

Five Things Your Husband Wishes You'd Know, but Won't Tell You.
You can find the article in its entirety here, but here is the list in a nutshell, literally:

Some of those are abbreviated, so please go check out the full article by Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin. It's one I am going to keep bookmarked.

Lessons Learned:

1) Don't let the husband see this post for the following reasons:

• He likes red-heads
• He will realize that I get my "smarts" from other people
• He may decide he needs some Pistachios for his snacking needs

2) Do your research... see what other people are doing.
3) Don't be scared to try out a few things you've read about. The worse that can happen is your hubby gives you a weird look and walks away. Which gives you time to watch America's Next Top Model without him complaining about you hogging the DVR.

How to Seduce your Guy in 31 Days [Day 4]

My husband loves him some chocolate chip cookies. Especially if I add some chopped walnuts to the mix. However, the task of making cookies seems daunting to me. Every time.

And every time, when they are made and he is HAPPY, I realize it wasn't such a chore; I should do it more often.

I went to the store this weekend and picked up a few things... and unbeknownst to him, I made cookies on Sunday night (while he was still at work). And not just for his belly... but I made a few dozen extra for him to take to his techs the next day.

Not just score.
But double score.

His response, besides the expected "Nomm Nomm Nommm"...?

1. Surprise your guy with his favorite treat, he'll love it.
2. Milk in a non-covered glass does not travel well.
3. It takes a WHOLE 10 minutes to prep and 10 minutes to bake (per 2 dozen) not 10 hours. Do it already.

How to Seduce your Guy in 31 Days [Day 3]

Yes, I could clearly and purposefully go with the most common definition of a sext message. But, let me assure you, I am going to keep it rated PG-13.

See?! Mostly innocent around here.

Generally, the husband and I text about pretty basic stuff.

"Why won't you answer my call?"

"The kids are KILLING me."

"Go hard."

"*go ahead. I meant go ahead."

"Lunch monies?"

"Just warning you. I have a headache."

If I had an iPhone, I could do a neat little screen shot to show you. But I don't. I have an Android. Deal.

See, basic stuff. But every once in a while, I work hard to send him a sweet & loving message. Something more than the usual "Luv u." 

I want to let my partner know how much I adore him. And that even if we are both dealing with craziness in our days, I am thinking about him.

Something along the lines of:

Things are downright insane right now, but then I thought about you possibly coming home early, and my gut starting to tingle.  ♥

Or:

Hey, babe. Wanted to let you know I was thinking of you. Hope you are having a good day.

Or even:

Be ready. [Jump. Your. Bones.] :D

Really, it can be ANYTHING but the ordinary. No grocery lists (unless every other item is sweet or sexy). No whining about the damn toilet seat or the rolled up socks in the dryer. Send the unexpected text and wait for his response.

Personally, I can't wait to read what my dude sends back.

Okay, so he's a man of few words. Can't fault him for that.

Rating:

Lessons Learned:

1. Get an iPhone so I can take screen shots of my text messages.
2. Send lots of sweet text messages to my man throughout the week. But don't over do it; he could start checking the bank statements and realize I may have an addiction to Wendy's and Hobby Lobby. At the same time.
3. Say what you FEEL. Even if it is a little naughty. ;)

How to Seduce your Guy in 31 Days [Day 2]

Maybe for you it's a given. A "Duh-UH!" moment, even. However, I HATE shaving my legs. And to say that the husband has been patient and understanding is an understatement. I can count on one hand the times he's actually said something about it.

Realize, I am not walking around looking like an Ape. I do live in Arizona where we live in shorts and flip flops 9 months out of the year. But, to keep things in on the real, I will say that there are times I've stepped outside in shorts and long leg hair. As if it were a fashion statement.

I decided to do something about the leg hair and I wanted it to be more than just shaving but less than removal by laser (at this point, anyways).

So I went to my local drug store and gawked at the many options available. The prices were STEEP and the products were many.

I decided to try this Nair product out. It was not a simple decision. Standing in that aisle, I immediately went back to that place, to the memory files in my brain. I remember the first (and last) time I used Nair. It wasn't pretty. And it hurt.

I went ahead and picked out their new Spa Clay stuff. I followed the directions to the T  and adhered to all of the warnings (don't drink it, don't use it on your eyeballs, etc). And... IT WORKED!!

And believe you me, I let the hairs grow for DAYS before I Nair'd. I could have seriously donated to Locks of Love, people...

I swear, Nair don't care about who I am and they have no idea I am posting about this. But I had to share. This ain't your momma's Nair. The smell was okay. It was easy to apply and massage off.

The results?!

SMOOTH-A**-NESS. Seriously. The boyfriend couldn't keep his hands OFF. It's been over a week, and I am still in the clear (of leg hair, not him).

Rating:

Lessons Learned:

1. The husband loves my legs sans hair.
2. Nair isn't so bad anymore and it actually works.
3. Wearing sunglasses does not hide my leg hair from others.

How to Seduce your Guy in 31 Days [Day 1]

I approached Nester's challenge much like I approach any task or project at work. I grabbed a spiral notebook and a pen and started a brainstorming session. Because I had already done some thinking about what topic I wanted to cover, I already had some ideas about what I wanted to accomplish during this challenge.

That's really the first step. Ask yourself what you want to accomplish. Then figure out how you are going to accomplish it. Set goals. And make sure they are SMART.

S   - I want to seduce my guy.
M - I will measure his reactions using the following scale:

A - He's a guy, of course anything I come up with is attainable. Right?!
R - Keep the focus on HIM or US. Make it relevant.
T - I have thirty-one days to knock his socks off. And I am taking it one day at a time.


So why do I want to seduce my guy, you ask?
The husband is my best friend. I've lived with him as long as I lived with my own parents. That feels huge to me, I'm only 35, people. The husband and I met shortly before our 17th birthdays and we were married shortly after we turned 18. We grew up together and we grew comfortable together.

We are still VERY much in love. I think we have a fantastic relationship. We are friends first and foremost, always. Even after all these years, there is still PASSION in our marriage. There is. But above all that, there is the ordinary. The same stuff that happens, day-after-day. It's part of life, I get that.

Because the husband and I are so comfortable around each other, I take so much for granted. Maybe we both do. I will have to ask him. The bathroom door? Lucky if it ever gets shut. Pajamas? Boring. Pasta? Again?!

The guy loves me for who I am, without a doubt. But, I want him to know how much I love him by changing things up a little. Working a little harder for his attention. He's not complained at all, which is a bonus. He's not straying (I assure you, in case it crossed your mind). This is nothing serious like that. The purpose behind this challenge is to re-energize what we have. Make things better than they are. And they are damn good, so this will definitely be a challenge.

The next 30 days is just a testament to how much I love and adore my husband. And how much I want him to feel loved and adored. 

I am going to be open and honest. I am going to share his responses (where I can). ;) And I am going to try to find what works, what I can keep up with and what I should never have thought of. Because I am sure there will be some of those moments during the next month or so. :D

I have 30 more days full of ideas, some where I focus on myself to offer to him. (Does that make sense?!) And some ideas that are focused on the family, to make things better at home. And some ideas that are 100% focused on my dreamboat. Or, in case Usher is not available, I will focus on Marcos.

I kid. I kid.

Stay tuned.

How to Seduce your Guy in 31 Days [Intro]

While you think today is September 28, I wanted to let you know that it is really August 29. Call me crazy. Tell me I can't read a calendar. All could probably be true. However, in this scenario, I am right. Not that you're wrong.

I have spent the last month or so gathering my notes, my ideas and my courage to share with you something near and dear to my heart. For the next 31 days, I am going to show you how to seduce your guy.

There you go calling me crazy again. I get that.

This is my first time participating in Nester's 31 Days challenge. Thankfully, no one will be graded (or shot) at the end of the challenge. It's more like a personal challenge. That's open to the world.

I had a hard time deciding on a topic. I had two ideas that I was (am!) passionate about. The first is what you see up there. The second? See below.

The more I thought about it, the more I understood that in order for me to be authentic, I had to go with my gut. I still plan on realizing my authentic self, and honestly, the blog posts in my drafts folder are piling up. But this isn't the time to share those.

The most important thing about this blog, my journal, is to remain authentic. To be myself. So, that's what I am going to give you. Shamefully, I feel like I've always held back a little. Perhaps I was (am!?) worried about losing the half-a-dozen faithfuls out there. After 4+ years of blogging, what do I really have to lose?!

Over the next 31 days, I will have normal blog posts up (Hello!?! It is October! Must. Share. Crafts). But I will also have a daily, pointed post that takes you on a very twisted roller coaster ride (twisted as in curvey, not as in Charles Manson!). At the end of this journey, hopefully I will have entertained more than just the ball to my chain.

Please consider following along - you can sign up to receive my posts directly in your inbox. Also, feel free to like my FB page! I may leverage that fancy tool to help get my words out.

If you are participating in Nester's challenge, please leave a comment with a link to your series. There will be a ton to pick and choose from, so I'd hate to miss out on yours.